Little Gestures Can Have a Huge Spiritual Impact
I recently was making my way through Costco with all five of my kids in tow. It isn’t unusual for us to have a variety of interactions there about our family size— which I find hilarious to be honest. Like, ma’am— I know that I “have my hands full” and between the comments and funny looks (Costco shoppers— WHY DO YOU THINK I’M BUYING IN BULK?! I HAVE LITTLE MOUTHS TO FEED!) every once in a while, someone says something genuinely kind and encouraging. This trip was one such occasion.
We approached the cooler area, and while I considered my plan for getting in and out as fast as possible, a rush of cold hair made the hair stand up on my arms. “Brrrrr! I don’t want to even go in there today!” I teased to my kids. From behind, a woman appeared and said, “Can I grab your stuff for you? What would you like?”
To say I was surprised was an understatement— it was such an unexpected and small gesture, but as a mom that is far more accustomed to comments like, “Good LUCK!” this really made me take a step back.
I really hate feeling like I’m a burden to anyone else. I also was embarrassed because my gut internal reaction was, she must think I am such a baby. I had a decision to make— do I kindly refuse her offer to assist me in my “hour of need” (LOL) or do I let her bless me in this small way.
I chose to let her bless me— kind of.
“W-wow!” I stammered, “I really need some strawberries and blueberries…. but you really don’t have to get them…” I may have left out that I wanted some salad greens as well.
After inquiring if I wanted organic or regular, she eagerly walked into the cooler and made a beeline for the strawberries.
I have spent a long time reflecting on this small act of charity. I’m still taken by her, and I appreciate how quickly she offered to step in without hesitation.
When I compare myself to her, I can’t help but wonder how many times I have done one of these two things: 1.) felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to act in a way that would likely bless someone else and pushed it away, or 2.) insisted on being Miss Independent and refuse to let someone bless me.
I’ve realized that the fear is the biggest reason we likely respond this way in either circumstance. Pride plays a fair role as well.
In the first scenario, I have often felt a tug to offer to come to someone’s aid and feared rejection. “What if they say ‘no’? That would be kind of embarrassing… I don’t want to offend them…” So, I make the decision for them. They get to be Miss (or Mister) Independent; it’s far better that they feel a sense of accomplishment than I feel a sense of being rejected. At least— this is what I tell myself on a subconscious level.
Scenario one can also play out something along these lines: have you ever discovered that your closest friends or family did something without inviting you? Do you remember how much it stung when you realized you weren’t invited?
I’ve experienced this many times, but over the years, it often happens because I have small kids or a newborn. I’ve realized that it isn’t unusual for me not to be invited simply because I have kids and the organizers decide for me that I probably can’t or don’t want to go. This experience has hurt me every single time. I felt like a decision was made for me without ever asking me. It’s a strange feeling, almost akin to a sense of betrayal.
“I’ve realized that the fear is the biggest reason we likely respond this way in either circumstance. ”
I must remind myself that I have likely done this, too, at times in my life, which devastates me. I never want to hurt someone, especially in such a deep way. It is not my job to decide if someone else is too overwhelmed or bogged down to spend time with other people they love.
I don’t know how many times I’ve desperately wanted to be included, and for one reason or another, the decision was made for me that I would not be.
In the second scenario, where I am the one refusing to help out of pride, I have realized over the years how powerful it is to accept help when it comes with a great deal of humility. It’s difficult to admit that we can’t do it alone. It feels vulnerable. And yet, it connects us with one another.
When we refuse others the opportunity to bless, we deny them an opportunity to display God’s love and grace. I, for one, do not want to get in the way of that! When we accept these little gestures of love, God is working on the hearts of both the giver and the receiver.
Loving God and your neighbor isn’t merely about giving love, it is about receiving love. The reception is love is how love is brought to fruition and completion.
The best comparison or illustration is how painful it is when you offer someone a present that you purchased or made explicitly for them, and the would-be recipient says, “I don’t want that.” You know it’s something they would love or have wanted, but they refuse the gift meant for them anyway. It is a painful suffering for the giver to endure. It is not proper to the order of love, which is what we were made for.
Grace is the free gift from God that we choose to freely accept or reject in every moment and with every breath. How we treat those around us is an expression of our disposition towards our Creator. He reminds us that all the commandments can be summed up as follows: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, … and love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22: 37-39)
Regardless of where you fall in these interactions, always choose to be a conduit of God’s grace and love.
Comment Below!
Do you struggle with letting others bless you? Do you have any stories of strangers or loved ones helping you in a big or small way when you needed it? Have you thought about what holds you back from offering to help others even when you feel a tug to do so?
